Married in 2000 and a couple since 1997, Jody and I have been through a lot together. When we joined in holy matrimony, we were young and naïve and thought our feelings of infatuation with one another would suffice to carry us through our marriage. Feelings have a funny way of changing over time though.

Infatuation eventually gave way to complacency, which would often give way to frustration and disappointment. But through it all there was at least some underlying sense of love and hope that it would all work out. Then in 2006, the topic of divorce came up for the first time.

At this stage of my life, I was infected with emotional and spiritual malaise as I struggled with depression and feelings of meaninglessness. And the deep connection that I prayed my marriage would someday achieve just wasn’t there. In fact, most of the expectations I had for my life felt unfulfilled at this point.

The talk of divorce hit me in the face like a bucket of cold water, and after a short stint of trying to be a better husband, I settled back into old habits. Jody and I resumed our parallel paths for the next few years while trying at least a little to be better spouses.

We also had our first child during this time which further complicated our relationship. We now had a common goal of raising our son, but parenting only kept us from doing much-needed hard work in our marriage.

Jody was going through her own dark period during this time as her father lost his battle with cancer in 2009, and the often harsh words of a critical husband struck blows to her already fragile ego. We trudged on unconnected and unfulfilled.

Then in 2010, my sister passed away from complications resulting from radiation treatment for brain tumors. This experience of loss felt less like a bucket of cold water to the face and more like a plunge into the Arctic Ocean. When I eventually surfaced, I knew it was time for a total reassessment of my life.

Both Jody and I had spiritual awakenings around this time and began striving for more meaningful lives – for lives that were about more than our own selfish interests. Over the next couple years, we were baptized, began new lives and began deconstructing our marriage so that it could be rebuilt on solid ground.

This process has involved seasons of confession, healing, forgiving, humbling, studying, relearning, breaking old habits, developing new habits, serving and growing. We still don’t have it all figured out, but then who does? We have dedicated ourselves to being better spouses and parents, and have been working hard to humbly identify our weaknesses and fortify them.

This site will chronicle that journey as I seek to be open about our struggles as well as our successes. I hope it helps someone…anyone!