I am tan. It is almost a freakish, George Hamilton kind of tan.

I just returned from a two-week vacation in Florida where my family paid homage to the great fiery ball in the sky by basking in its rays for longer than humans probably should.

We all survived without any major sunburns though. And we got to spend some much-needed time recharging our batteries while hanging out with our extended family.

I am actually not much of a beach guy. I go to the beach every year because my family loves it, but I would rather spend my vacation exploring our world. I know – the sacrifices I am willing to make for my family!

There are, however, things I definitely enjoy about our beach vacations. Seeing family, digging giant holes in the sand, consuming mass quantities of aquatic life and not being at work top the list. I also like to simply float in the ocean. I go beyond the breaking waves, lay on my back, close my eyes and just float.

It is relaxing to me. I am becoming more buoyant with age, so it is easy to drift in the ocean with very little effort.

At some point though, a wave hits me or I find that I have drifted awkwardly close to another family. So I have to get upright, gain my bearings and figure out how far I’ve traveled from my condo.

Because inevitably as soon as my feet lift off the sandy ocean floor, I begin to drift. This year as I lay atop the salty sea floating farther and farther from my family, it occurred to me how easily it is to drift in life. This happens regularly in my marriage.

Through 17 years of marriage, if I have learned anything, it is that I have to be deliberate and intentional to be a good husband. I cannot just float through my marriage and hope for the best, because as soon as I stop working at it, I begin to drift.

Much like the ocean, there are forces at play beneath the surface that will drag us far from home if we are not actively working against the tide. Our lives are awash with commitments, addictions, hobbies and a myriad of distractions that, like an undertow, will pull us from our spouses.

I floated through the first decade of my marriage. I thought bringing home paychecks, not cheating on my wife and taking her on a date once a year made me a pretty good husband.

I was wrong.

I drifted for years before I finally realized just how far I had gotten from my wife.

And I still have natural tendencies like introversion, selfishness and pride that will set me adrift if I don’t actively fight against them.

For me, the best ways to stand firm against the tide are to ensure I’m rooted through daily prayer, intentional communication with my wife and regular reminders (through classes or books) of what makes a great husband.

Have you drifted in any areas of your life? What are you doing to get back to shore? What should you be doing?