My marriage has recently been put to the test. My wife (Jody) and I had our patience pulled thin and our communication abilities challenged as we faced the grueling gauntlet that is Disney World.

I find Disney’s moniker of “The Happiest Place on Earth” to be misleading. Clearly the spin man who came up with this gem of a catch phrase has never been to the Magic Kingdom on the day after Thanksgiving with a seven and three-year-old in tow. I’m thinking “The Crowdedest Place on Earth” or “The Priciest Hamburgers on Earth” might be more fitting.

In all seriousness, this was probably our best visit to a theme park that we have ever had, and we’ve been to several. Don’t get me wrong, the place was jam-packed with people who navigate strollers even worse than they drive. We grew exhausted. We ached from carrying kids. We got cold. But we never lost our cool with each other or the kids.

That might not seem like a major achievement to many, but for lesser mortals like us, this was huge! More often than not when I am put in the midst of crowds for an entire day, lugging whiny kids across miles of theme park, I end up losing my patience. The communication between me and Jody typically breaks down at some point, and we start snapping at each other and the kids.

The issues we face with patience and communication aren’t actually caused by the theme park. These flaws are always there but usually remain hidden until life circumstances become unfavorable. When I’m fatigued, when I am annoyed, when things don’t go according to my plan, when my kids whine – the chink in the armor receives a direct hit. And a side of me that I don’t like is revealed.

I read recently that when we have an angry outburst, it is a moment of “temporary insanity.” In that moment, we have lost control of our faculties. And to see a video recording of one of these outbursts would show just how ugly they can be. Sadly, I’ve had more of these outbursts than I care to admit.

But this trip to Disney that was free from any disputes or impatience offered me great hope. This change didn’t happen by chance though.  Jody and I have been in training, working diligently at becoming better spouses and parents – in that order.

For us, training takes on many different forms. Both of us are up early each morning reading books that will help us grow. While we’re not always reading books that are directly related to marriage or parenting, all of the reading is aimed at developing traits in us that will help in both areas. I have to feed my mind with healthy input if I expect a healthy output.

Even those of us who “aren’t readers” or can’t find the time or motivation to read books have options. Through social media and email, short daily articles can help to fill that void. I subscribe or follow several good ones: All Pro Dad, Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson and Stepping Up are a few of my favorites.

Besides just reading, I need real live people to keep it real with me and to speak truth into my life. Jody and I are in a couple’s group together as well as men’s and women’s groups that help to keep us pointed in the right direction and provide valuable insight from other spouses and parents.

I am stubborn and sometimes lose perspective, so I need the daily discipline of filling my mind positive directions. And I need to the community of others to remind me that I’m not alone and to push me towards growth. Through this repetitive instruction, some lofty concepts have stuck and have helped transform my reactions to life circumstances.

I would love to say that I never lose my cool, and that I’m a master of self-control…but neither is true. After our victory at Disney though, I am feeling reassured that the training is paying off.