One of the most difficult things that I’ve ever witnessed, and felt powerless to do anything about, was seeing another man flirt with my wife.
I have seen it numerous times – another man showboating for my wife, laughing a little too hard at her jokes, overly excited to see her, intrigued by everything she has to say, lightly touching her arm or shoulder, stupidly grinning from ear to ear, unaware of (or at least unconcerned about) my presence.
There is a switch that flips in me in those moments where my nice guy façade is replaced by a man who believes he could literally rip another man’s arm from its socket. Now, I have never ripped another man’s arm off, but in those moments, I’d sure like to give it the old college try.
Over the past weekend, I attended a men’s conference where the speaker shared that he’d had similar experiences, minus the severing of limbs. He shared that from across the room he saw another man clearly flirting with his wife, and that anger began to well up. Then a small voice inside cut through the anger and said, “You should be flirting more with your wife.” Ouch!
That line struck me hard. I don’t remember everything that was said at the two-day conference, but those words are still ringing in my ears a week later. Thinking about how little I flirt with my wife made me want to rip my own arm off and smack myself with it.
So in the name of reducing severed arm injuries, I’m going to pass along advice that was passed on to me at that event. Here are 10 ways we can flirt with our wives:
- Spend time with her alone
- Listen to her deeply – without distraction (phone, TV, computer)
- Touch her – not as a means to an end, but simply holding hands or putting your arm around her
- Accept her unconditionally
- Be committed to her – especially with your eyes
- Encourage her with your words
- Take care of her financially
- Laugh with her
- After God, make her your top priority
- Be her best friend
In 15 years of marriage, if I’ve learned one thing about women, it’s that they want to feel accepted, loved and wanted just as they are.
Even though I know that to be true, I sometimes find it hard to translate that knowledge into action, but these 10 actions are pretty sound ways to make that happen.
I can’t control other men hitting on my wife. She’s beautiful and outgoing, and that draws men to her.
But what I can control is how I act towards my wife. I can build her up. I can show her how important she is to me and remind her how beautiful I find her. I can make another man’s flirting less of a threat simply by doing a little flirting of my own.