For the 2012 model-year, Honda pulled the wraps off an all-new Civic, and consumers politely asked them to put the wraps back on. Automotive journalists were much less polite, using words like bland, cheap-feeling, unadventurous and lackluster to describe the car.
The most-oft critiqued aspects of the model were the exterior styling, cheap interior, harsh ride and excessive road noise. Honda took notice. But they didn’t just take notice, they took action.
Major changes in automotive design usually move at glacial speeds, taking around three years from conception to implementation. However in an unprecedented 18 months, Honda released a refreshed Civic that addressed the major quips from naysayers.
One of Honda’s most meaningful measures for success is what they call “Lifetime Owner Loyalty.” In other words, are their customers coming back to buy their products? To achieve this loyalty, they continuously gauge their customer’s satisfaction with their products and with their service experiences. And they take the customer’s opinion of their product seriously.
What would it look like if we all did the same thing in our marriages? What if we treated our spouses as if they were our customers, and we actively sought to understand and exceed their expectations?
Marriage will be the most important contractual agreement that most of us will ever enter into. Yet we will spend more time researching and buying our next car than we will dedicate to reading up on how to be a better spouse.
Many of us act like salesmen when we are dating. We polish ourselves up, put on our best behavior and shamelessly promote our selling points. Then we close the deal and eventually stop caring about whether or not the customer is pleased with the product.
There’s no lemon law in marriage. You can’t take back a dud spouse once the deal is penned. But divorce has become a viable option for many as the luster of a new marriage fades. I would venture to say that most marriages that end in divorce do so largely because of dissatisfaction caused by unmet needs. My marriage almost ended for that very reason.
It took me more than a decade to ask my wife, “What are your top ten needs?” I made assumptions about her needs and how she received love based on my needs and how I receive love. I used to always wash our dishes, thinking I was showing love through my act of service. But Jody wasn’t receiving love. She needs to hear that I love her and that I find her beautiful – needs that I was woefully inept at filling.
If I were to run a business this way, dishing out a product based on assumptions and failing to keep my finger on the pulse of the customer, the business likely would have collapsed in much less than a decade. And yet, I pushed through a decade of marriage without once truly seeking the input of my sole customer.
If you are in tune with your spouse’s needs, good for you. I am too…finally. But if you have never asked your spouse to identify his/her top needs, do it today. Have them write the needs on paper, and you do the same with your own needs. Then carve out an hour when you won’t be distracted by kids, work or electronic diversions, and talk through your list, sharing what each need means and specifically how it can be met. I promise, your spouse will be glad you asked.