One of the most tattoo-worthy quotes to ever emblazon a meme is, “Be the change.” Shortened from “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” the origin of this quote is apparently misattributed to Gandhi.
If you want to waste 20 minutes of your life as I did, you can read the raging debates among internet scholars to arrive at the same conclusion I did – who cares? The origin of this quote does not matter. It could have come from Dr. Phil, Forrest Gump or Miley Cyrus for all I care.
What matters is that it is a beautifully simple, profound suggestion. If you want to see change in the world around you, become an agent of that change. Duh!
It is so simple, yet putting this idea into practice seems too difficult for most of us to bother. After all, what can one person do to affect change? Can we really change the world?
The answer to that question is an unequivocal YES. We can absolutely change the world. Now we may not alter the course of human events or earn a page in history books, but we have the power to change the world of those around us.
We all have spheres of influence in which we can create change. I think of this sphere like a body of water.
Some of us live in small ponds where the shores of our influence might not be wide-spread. While some of our social circles are more like large lakes. Every action we take has some impact on that body of water, like tossing a stone into its depths.
Our more mundane actions cast pebbles into the water leaving little ripples that dissipate quickly. But some of the choices we make or the words we let fly are like boulders crashing through the water’s surface. The waves are large and far-reaching. If you are married, your spouse is probably most affected by your waves.
Within that relationship often lies the greatest opportunity to change the world. Over the last couple of years, I have had several men share with me that their marriages were hurting and heading towards divorce. Without fail, those conversations inevitably turned to complaints about what their wives do or don’t do to contribute to their marital strife.
My advice, without fail, is “you need to focus on you.”
If we want our relationships to change, we have to change. I can almost guarantee that those wives who weren’t living up to their husbands’ expectations could share similar lists about their husbands’ shortcomings.
Put another way, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” That line is a little too long for a tattoo, but the sentiment is similar.
We have the power to change our world for the better. But if we don’t change, we can’t expect our relationships to change.
You want to change the world? Do it.
Start today by being unexpectedly kind and gracious to your spouse regardless of how they act towards you.
Stop complaining. Drop an annoying habit. Pick up a healthy discipline. Pray for your spouse daily. Hug more. Go on more dates. Talk more. Be the change.