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How the Cleveland Browns Helped My Parenting

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My son, Alex, is destined for a life of disappointment. At the age of six, he made a critical decision that will haunt him for the rest of his days here on earth. He joined a pack of sad souls whose suffering knows no end.

He became a Cleveland Browns fan.

I’m really not sure how it happened. My wife and I are both Bengals fans, though neither of us is fanatical about football. To put it into perspective, the Bengals are 9-2 (best record in franchise history), and I’ve watched maybe three games this season.

Even though we are not body-painting, short-bus-owning football crazy, Alex is. He is a Browns fan through thick and thin – well let’s face it, mostly thin. With a 2-9 record, this team has created little reason for excitement.

Alex has shed many tears as a result of the Browns’ bungling. The Browns’ home field, FirstEnergy Stadium,  has been dubbed “The Factory of Sadness” for good reason. Once a week, its residents crush the spirit of my little boy.

However, one thing the Browns have done well is provide opportunity for me to step in with fatherly advice. We have had many talks and life lessons for which I can thank the Browns.

Almost weekly, we have a discussion where I attempt to put football into perspective. I share with him that it’s just a game, and in the grand scheme of life, football isn’t that important. Our lives will go on regardless of which team wins.

Alex has had to learn to cope with disappointment and to temper his expectations. These are actually valuable lessons for a boy his age to learn, because most of us will probably encounter seasons in life that looks like a Browns season.

Loss is inevitable. Disappointment is destined to occur. Some of us don’t learn that until we’re adults. So thank you Browns for that life lesson.

Because of Johnny Manziel, I’ve had conversations about alcohol with Alex. We discussed how dumb it can make people act, how it leads people to make really bad decisions and how it can destroy lives. Thank you Browns.

Because of Josh Gordon, I’ve had conversations about marijuana and other drugs with Alex. That’s a hard thing for a seven-year-old to wrap his head around. But now Alex hates drugs. He associates them with stupidity and the loss of the Browns “best player.” So thank you Browns.

We also do a lot of bonding over the Browns that isn’t so heavy. I follow the team pretty closely, even closer than I follow the Bengals, for the sole reason of starting conversations with my son. If I ever want to get him talking, football is a great jumping off point.

I’ve watched more Browns games this year than Bengals, only because it means time spent with Alex. And I secretly root for them on occasion because I want to see him happy.

Alex has suffered through this season like most Browns fans. He’s cried. He’s yelled. He’s called Mike Pettine an idiot. But I’ve been by his side through it all. When he cries, I comfort. When he yells, I bring perspective. I tell him ‘mentally-challenged’ is a nicer word than ‘idiot.’ Thank you Browns for a season of bonding with my son!

 

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Sometimes I Need Smacked – Sometimes A Whisper Will Do

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stooges2A few days ago, my wife described to me a concept she’d read about called a ‘Sacred Echo.’ The idea is that when God communicates with us, the really important messages get repeated over and over – through books, songs, the words of a friend, TV, a sermon at church, a random email, etc.

I explained to my wife that I knew exactly what she meant, having experienced it several times in my own life. But I use a far less elegant term to describe it – ‘God Smack.’

God often has to smack me upside the noggin with a message before the light bulb clicks on above my head.

My life can get so busy, and I can get so focused on insignificant things that I sometimes fail to hear the information being communicated through the world around me. Can you relate?

Most of us have probably experienced moments when an undeniable thread runs through our lives, mending together a patchwork of seemingly random events or encounters. And when we take pause from the disarray of our days to process the pieces into a whole, we realize we are being called to action.

Most often it’s a subtle echo. Occasionally it’s a smack to the head.

One such undeniable calling in my life has been humility. I have been hit with this word many times, and for good reason. I don’t practice it nearly enough.

Like a stooge, I sometimes have to be dragged by the ear and receive a poke to the eyes before I take notice of the need for change in my life.

In the past decade, I’ve received a couple of messages so undeniable that only a fool would fail to heed them. My sister passing away at a young age and my wife telling me she thought we would be better off divorced shook the foundation of my world.

Both helped me see how little I sought to please anyone in this world other than myself. And both were catalysts for major life changes.

HUMILITY – right upside my temple – twice!

These events hurt deeply and led me to realize that I don’t ever want to sit around waiting for a blow to my dome to prompt me to grow.

I am reminded daily of my need for humility when I listen, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do more often -listen.

I tune into my wife’s needs, listening for unspoken cues. I look for how my actions are reflected in my children, for areas I need to change as a parent.

Perhaps most importantly, I respond to internal nudges towards more selfless acts. Well, sometimes I respond to those nudges, and sometimes I still pretend I don’t hear them.  I’m a work in progress.

The world around us whispers to us daily but often gets drowned out by our busyness and self-focus. My suggestion – be vigilant. Keep your ears and eyes open.

What instruction or calling is echoing through your days? Listen for it. Act on it. Save yourself from a smack upside the head.

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The Day I Wanted To Rip A Man’s Arm Off

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One of the most difficult things that I’ve ever witnessed, and felt powerless to do anything about, was seeing another man flirt with my wife.

I have seen it numerous times – another man showboating for my wife, laughing a little too hard at her jokes, overly excited to see her, intrigued by everything she has to say, lightly touching her arm or shoulder, stupidly grinning from ear to ear, unaware of (or at least unconcerned about) my presence.

There is a switch that flips in me in those moments where my nice guy façade is replaced by a man who believes he could literally rip another man’s arm from its socket. Now, I have never ripped another man’s arm off, but in those moments, I’d sure like to give it the old college try.

Over the past weekend, I attended a men’s conference where the speaker shared that he’d had similar experiences, minus the severing of limbs. He shared that from across the room he saw another man clearly flirting with his wife, and that anger began to well up. Then a small voice inside cut through the anger and said, “You should be flirting more with your wife.” Ouch!

That line struck me hard. I don’t remember everything that was said at the two-day conference, but those words are still ringing in my ears a week later. Thinking about how little I flirt with my wife made me want to rip my own arm off and smack myself with it.

So in the name of reducing severed arm injuries, I’m going to pass along advice that was passed on to me at that event. Here are 10 ways we can flirt with our wives:

  1. Spend time with her alone
  2. Listen to her deeply – without distraction (phone, TV, computer)
  3. Touch her – not as a means to an end, but simply holding hands or putting your arm around her
  4. Accept her unconditionally
  5. Be committed to her – especially with your eyes
  6. Encourage her with your words
  7. Take care of her financially
  8. Laugh with her
  9. After God, make her your top priority
  10. Be her best friend

In 15 years of marriage, if I’ve learned one thing about women, it’s that they want to feel accepted, loved and wanted just as they are.

Even though I know that to be true, I sometimes find it hard to translate that knowledge into action, but these 10 actions are pretty sound ways to make that happen.

I can’t control other men hitting on my wife. She’s beautiful and outgoing, and that draws men to her.

But what I can control is how I act towards my wife. I can build her up. I can show her how important she is to me and remind her how beautiful I find her. I can make another man’s flirting less of a threat simply by doing a little flirting of my own.

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My Dog Ate My Marriage

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Six months ago, my wife (Jody) and I decided that our lives were way too calm and predictable. We didn’t own nearly enough things that had been peed on or chewed on. So we decided to remedy all that by purchasing a Golden Retriever puppy.

The first few months of dog ownership were predictably tough. After a couple of weeks of it, I toyed with thoughts of ‘accidentally’ leaving the gate to our fence open so our puppy could answer the call of the wild.

But alas, I never gave into that temptation. I decided to ride it out, believing that he just had to get easier with time.

Our dog, Chewy, isn’t a puppy any more, although he still acts like one in many ways. He certainly lives up to his name, chewing on anything and everything within his reach. The lanky dog’s bite has left impressions on more things in our home than I care to count, including our marriage.

Before we got Chewy, we had developed some habits that helped us focus on our marriage, but those habits promptly evaporated as we had to dedicate time and effort to incorporating the new recruit into our clan.

For the past few years, Jody and I have had a ritual of getting up early to exercise and read. As part of her routine,  Jody would send me an email  nearly every morning, so the first thing I saw when I got to work was some insight into what was going on in her world. And I would respond, giving her a glimpse into my world.

This was a small, yet important, part of our communication that helped create closeness and understanding in our marriage. But the first few months of having a puppy are almost like having a newborn. Our sleep suffered, so we started getting up later to offset the loss of sleep. And Jody’s morning routine now included walking a dog, which meant there was no time to email me.

Another one of our disciplines that suffered was what we call ‘No-Tech Tuesday.’ One night a week we turn off the TV, phones, laptops and tablets and simply talk to each other. We usually have some questions in hand to guide our conversation beyond surface-level chatter, and through this process, we learn what is happening with each other.

This has been a vital way for us to create intimacy and to help me gauge the pulse of our marriage. I believe in this practice so much that I started a web site called no-techtuesday.com. Yet as our time and attention spans were spread thinner, this well-established routine fell.

Losing these two seemingly small practices from our marriage hurt our relationship. As the communication dropped, the distance between us widened. In the absence of intimate conversation, doubt crept it. And I was reminded of the years our marriage spent in the wilderness before we developed these habits.

We got back on the bandwagon recently, and almost instantly, I felt the temperature of our marriage change. It amazes me how we survived so long without these practices. But then, that pretty much sums up the first decade of our marriage – just surviving.

If that is where you find your marriage today, I would encourage you to develop new habits of your own. Find out what your spouse’s greatest needs are, and build new routines into your life that help you meet those needs. Small habits can truly be the difference between surviving and thriving.

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In Loving Memory

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skyMy grandpa passed away last week. His obituary was one of several in Wednesday’s newspaper. If he wasn’t my kin, I would have skipped right over the brief description of his life like I skip over most obituaries on most Wednesdays. There’s nothing uncommon about another octogenarian meeting his maker.

But there was something uncommon about Stanley Richard Smith. In fact, my grandpa possessed many traits that are increasingly uncommon in this day and age. As I replay the mental highlight reel of my interactions with the man, several things stand out.

My grandpa was joyful. He had a way about him that drew people in, and he would strike up conversations with complete strangers as if they were lifelong friends.

Whistling, singing and general silliness were the tools of his trade, and he was a master of his happy craft. As a boy, I looked forward to seeing him, because I always knew he was going to make me laugh. And he never disappointed.

Another aspect of my grandpa’s life that stands out was the source of his joy. If you talked to him for more than a few minutes, you would soon learn that he was a committed follower of Christ.

He wasn’t just a guy who called himself a Christian and was dragged into church once a week. He was a man who pursued a relationship with Christ – who modeled his life after the teachings of Christ.

I know he held other jobs, but ever since I can remember, he was a preacher. Long  after he retired from ministry and no longer led a congregation, he was still preaching…not through eloquent speeches but through his actions and his kindness.

Even into his 80’s, he was still visiting “old people” (his words) in hospitals and retirement homes using his gift of gab and his kind heart to bring peace to people in painful times.

He never led a mega church or authored any books. He never sought to make a name for himself or to get rich. He humbly followed the call he felt God had placed on his life. And he changed the world, one life at a time – one interaction at a time.

His influence started in his home where he modeled for his son how to be a good husband and showed his daughters the kind of man they deserved to marry. As the son of one of his daughters, I have indirectly been a student of his teachings. The life lessons he passed on have been passed on to me, and I am now striving to pass those lessons on to my children.

In this way, my grandpa’s beliefs, his words, his actions and his character will ripple through eternity passing from generation to generation. And even if our lineage were to end, his influence would not. He impacted lives in ways that he probably never knew. The kindness he shared, the joy he radiated, the biblical truths that he spoke undoubtedly changed the courses of the lives he encountered.

Most of us, like my grandpa, don’t lead high profile lives filled with adventure. For most, life is a collection of seemingly mundane, routine days. But our sphere of influence is greater than we realize. Our words and actions can, and will, change the trajectories of the lives we encounter whether we realize it or not.

When my obituary shows up in the Wednesday paper, I hope that people can skip right over it, because my life story won’t be told by a couple paragraphs of print. But like Stanley Richard Smith, I pray my story will carry on through the lives I’ve touched.

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Why I Keep Going to Marriage Conferences

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megaphoneA couple weeks ago, my wife and I attended our fourth marriage conference. Having been to so many of these, I thought a free t-shirt might be in order. I was wrong.

One might think after my third conference, I would be a subject matter expert and wouldn’t need to attend any more of these events. But I am a slow learner.

Every time I leave one of these conferences, I take away something different, because the messages strike me differently depending on the context of my life. Each of the events met me at a different stage in my marriage, and each gave me different ideas for how to be a better husband.

This weekend’s message about the different communication needs of men and women struck me right between the eyes, because in the context of my own marriage, I still struggle in this area. The need for improvement really hit me on the car ride home after the first day’s session.

Jody and I had a small disagreement that led to a long silent car ride home.  A half hour feels like an eternity when you are in a car with your spouse who is giving you the cold shoulder.

I felt so ashamed to be that couple that gets in a fight on the way home from a marriage conference…to be the husband who still doesn’t get it. So I thought, why not put it in writing and share with anyone interested? This is who we are, warts and all. My hope is that sharing our junk with others will give hope to someone somewhere.

This particular tiff started over something so small, but don’t they always? I won’t go into all the details, but non-verbal communication was at the core of the disagreement. Because I am so quiet, my wife is often left to guess what my actions mean. And my socially-awkward actions sometimes conspire to convince her that I’m not happy with her when that is truly not the case.

So I have to fight against my instinct for quiet solitude and remember to regularly reassure my wife, letting her know that I love her and that I think she is beautiful. Even though I know this to be true, I still struggle to transform this knowledge into action. It just doesn’t come naturally to me.

When the speakers got on stage Saturday morning, they shared that every woman needs this reassurance. To paraphrase the words of Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, your wife may know you love her, but there will be times when she needs to be convinced and reminded – sometimes repeatedly.

According to the Feldhahns’ research, most women worry that their relationships may be 3-4 arguments away from ending. They need reassured that we would choose them all over again and that we don’t see divorce as an option.

When my wife and I have disagreements like the one we had this Friday night, it’s easy for me to think that the issues stem from her neediness. But this weekend pointed out that my wife’s needs don’t spring from some personality flaw or deficiency. I learned that many of the things that perplex me about my wife are signals that she is feeling insecure about our love or the relationship.

That is why I keep coming back to these conferences, not looking for a free t-shirt, but because I continue to learn how to be a better husband. These events spark dialogue between us, and they increase my understanding of the fairer sex. What man couldn’t use that?

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Fear Not

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alex fishing2The sea was angry that day, my friends. Well, angry probably isn’t the right word for it…more like serene. The waters were pretty calm that morning as my son (Alex) and I waded knee-deep in the Gulf of Mexico.

On a recent vacation to Siesta Key, Florida, Alex and I spent the morning scanning the warm coastal waters for minnows.

With a net in hand, we searched the ocean diligently for over two hours trying unsuccessfully to nab at least one of the elusive little fish. During our excursion, Alex had the idea that we should try our luck at the Point of Rocks. It is what it sounds like – a rocky outcropping that forms the southern point of a crescent-shaped beach.

I have been to this beach several times, but I always viewed the Point of Rocks from afar. The idea of leaving the powder-soft sand to venture into unknown rocky depths had no appeal to me.

Don’t judge me; I have delicate feet. But where I saw the potential for scraped up soles, Alex saw the opportunity for adventure. These minnows were Alex’s Moby Dick, beckoning to be caught.

I fought against my instincts for foot preservation, and we trekked all through the craggy coastline. In the process, I did bang up a few toes on the rocks and scraped my heel pretty good, but they were just flesh wounds. The whole time we were walking through the rocks, I had to fight my urge to retreat to the sandy shore where I knew no toes would be injured.

But I resisted and we pushed on quite a while, enjoying some much needed father-son bonding time. Ultimately, we still didn’t catch any fish, but Alex enjoyed the adventure. The whole time, I was a breath away from passing along my fears to my son and from ending our fishing venture early. In the end I was so glad that I didn’t let fear keep us from trying something different.

Fear has a funny way of doing that – keeping me from venturing into the unknown. Fear is actually a good thing. It sometimes comes in the form of a biochemical reaction that steers us from danger and helps to keep us alive. It can also be a reminder that we are still alive. Sometimes we can use a little adrenaline jolt to shake us from the sleepy routines of life.

But the fear that most often gets me is the one that keeps me from stepping out of my comfort zone. It is a small, nagging voice that tells me I should avoid failure at all costs and keep to the familiar paths. Fear tells me that I am inadequate, that the risks outweigh the rewards, that the status quo is good enough, that change will require pain. Fear lies.

Did you know that the phrase “Fear not” appears in the Bible 365 times? The authors clearly understand the debilitating power of fear, how fear can take us out of the game. And yet we are challenged to, “Cast [our] burdens on the Lord.”

So if you are like me and find yourself stuck in fear, if anxiety consumes your thoughts, if the unknown is keeping you locked into a life of mediocrity, know that you are not alone. But you should also know that you are called shake off the shackles of fear.

Whether it is something as innocuous as sharing some adventure with your kids or something as life-altering as a career change, don’t let fear determine your next step or prevent you from taking a step. Lives worth living aren’t bound by fear.

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The Customer Is Always Right

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customer b&w

For the 2012 model-year, Honda pulled the wraps off an all-new Civic, and consumers politely asked them to put the wraps back on. Automotive journalists were much less polite, using words like bland, cheap-feeling, unadventurous and lackluster to describe the car.

The most-oft critiqued aspects of the model were the exterior styling, cheap interior, harsh ride and excessive road noise. Honda took notice. But they didn’t just take notice, they took action.

Major changes in automotive design usually move at glacial speeds, taking around three years from conception to implementation. However in an unprecedented 18 months, Honda released a refreshed Civic that addressed the major quips from naysayers.

One of Honda’s most meaningful measures for success is what they call “Lifetime Owner Loyalty.” In other words, are their customers coming back to buy their products? To achieve this loyalty, they continuously gauge their customer’s satisfaction with their products and with their service experiences. And they take the customer’s opinion of their product seriously.

What would it look like if we all did the same thing in our marriages? What if we treated our spouses as if they were our customers, and we actively sought to understand and exceed their expectations?

Marriage will be the most important contractual agreement that most of us will ever enter into. Yet we will spend more time researching and buying our next car than we will dedicate to reading up on how to be a better spouse.

Many of us act like salesmen when we are dating. We polish ourselves up, put on our best behavior and shamelessly promote our selling points. Then we close the deal and eventually stop caring about whether or not the customer is pleased with the product.

There’s no lemon law in marriage. You can’t take back a dud spouse once the deal is penned. But divorce has become a viable option for many as the luster of a new marriage fades. I would venture to say that most marriages that end in divorce do so largely because of dissatisfaction caused by unmet needs. My marriage almost ended for that very reason.

It took me more than a decade to ask my wife, “What are your top ten needs?” I made assumptions about her needs and how she received love based on my needs and how I receive love. I used to always wash our dishes, thinking I was showing love through my act of service. But Jody wasn’t receiving love. She needs to hear that I love her and that I find her beautiful – needs that I was woefully inept at filling.

If I were to run a business this way, dishing out a product based on assumptions and failing to keep my finger on the pulse of the customer, the business likely would have collapsed in much less than a decade. And yet, I pushed through a decade of marriage without once truly seeking the input of my sole customer.

If you are in tune with your spouse’s needs, good for you. I am too…finally. But if you have never asked your spouse to identify his/her top needs, do it today. Have them write the needs on paper, and you do the same with your own needs. Then carve out an hour when you won’t be distracted by kids, work or electronic diversions, and talk through your list, sharing what each need means and specifically how it can be met. I promise, your spouse will be glad you asked.

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Truth Hurts So Good

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mirror2American Idol makes me sad. It wasn’t always this way. I used to love watching the auditions as I was drawn to singers belting out raw emotions a cappella style.

I was also drawn to the other end of the spectrum – those who were so horrific that the sounds coming from their mouths could hardly be interpreted as singing.

However several years ago, the show lost me. The good singers all seemed a little too polished, and the bad…well, they started to make me sad. I began to feel like I was in high school watching the cool kids picking on the losers while I sat by and did nothing. Actually worse than doing nothing, I was laughing at those poor schmucks.

Some of the contenders on the show aren’t only terrible singers but appear to be suffering from mental disorders. What form of psychosis would convince a tone-deaf person to stand in line for countless hours with the honest belief that they have the talent to win a singing competition?

Schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, megalomania and narcissistic personality disorder are among the conditions that are characterized by grandiose delusions and unreal self-images. I don’t know how many of the folks on Idol could actually be diagnosed with any of these conditions, but I do know that narcissism is alive and well in America.

The true American idol is self. We worship at the altar of ME in our nation. Our collective notions of entitlement and rights can be so strong that they can distort reality. And seeing the fits that some of Idol rejects throw when they are fed a dose of reality is symptomatic of our over-coddled, self-indulgent culture.

What’s most sad about the delusional blokes who sing like Patrick Star (Spongbob’s BFF) but hear the voice of a rock star is that they don’t have anyone in their lives to tell them not to audition for American Idol. How sad is that? No one loves them enough to say three little words they need to hear –You can’t sing!

We all need someone to be a voice of reason in our lives, because all of us can lose touch with reality or lose our ability to see things objectively. My wife (Jody) often represents that voice of reason in my life, and I consider myself to be pretty self-aware.

Believe it or not, there are times when I don’t think rationally. I let bitterness take hold of me. I can worry excessively. I’m not a very social person and struggle to maintain friendships. I can be overly harsh with my kids.

These are all areas where I’ve lost perspective and where my wife has stepped in to lovingly point out things that I couldn’t see myself. Jody loves me enough to give me some hard truths when I need them. We all need someone to do that in our lives.

I would guess that most of us have some narcissistic tendencies or blind spots in our lives where we fail to see things for what they really are. Maybe we justify why our bad habits aren’t so bad or explain away any feedback we have received that’s not consistent with the image we have of ourselves. It’s easy to think ‘It’s them – not me.’

The causes for narcissistic personality disorder are unknown, but one recent study points to a couple possible causes as “overindulgence and overvaluation by parents” and “excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback.” While most of us probably don’t suffer from a personality disorder, we could all benefit from realistic feedback in our lives.

As parents, spouses and friends, we can show love by keeping it real. That doesn’t mean that we should go around giving everyone a piece of our mind. But when we see someone we care about heading down a wrong path, being self-destructive or allowing themselves to be victimized, we should let them know how we see the situation.

Loving honesty requires tact, timing and carefully chosen words. Even delivered in the right spirit, it can sometimes be received wrong. But we owe it to our loved ones to give them the truth, even when it’s difficult to deliver.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. – Ephesians 4: 25 (NIV)

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Urine Trouble

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chewyI have come in contact with more pee in the last 48 hours than anyone should ever have to encounter outside of a biohazard suit. I’ve stepped in it repeatedly, cleaned it off the carpet at least half a dozen times and transported clothing and bedding that were sopping with it. This is dad life.

Actually, my life was filled with very few involuntary urine encounters until recently. About a month ago we got a puppy. And curiously, around that same time, my potty-trained three-year-old started regressing and having accidents of her own. I’m beginning to think she’s conspiring with the dog against me.

This weekend, my wife (Jody) left me at home with our two kids and our Golden Retriever for a day and a half while she went to a conference. Jody had certainly earned some time away, and I was glad to give her a break from motherhood, if only a brief one. She works part time and then comes home to a full-time job serving the needs of a three-year-old, an eight-year-old, yours truly and now a puppy.

Puppies are awesome until you own one. I had forgotten how much I really don’t like having a puppy in my house until this last month.

Our last dog passed away back in November, and I had intended on taking a hiatus from being a dog owner. But that break only lasted about two months before the high-pressure sales pitches from the rest of my household started.

I made the mistake of showing the slightest crack in my anti-dog stance, and now my hiatus is over. It’s funny how I can say no to an army of Kirby vacuum cleaner salesmen, but my wife and kids can break me so easily.

At least I was allowed to name the dog, so there is still some illusion of power there. Now we have the most awesomely-named dog on the block – Chewbacca!

We call him Chewy for short, and he lives up to his name. He chews on everything in his path, including my kids. The chewing drives me even crazier than dealing with the potty messes. At least the urine can be cleaned up, mostly. Puppy teeth marks are more permanent. And with every bite mark, I see visions of dollar bills being tossed into a fire.

That is how my mind works. I have a tendency to oversimplify things and to see the negative more than the positive. And after a day and a half of seeing things around our house getting chewed or peed on, I painted a gloomy picture in my mind.

I envisioned our savings account dwindling to nil as we replaced furniture and flooring. I imagined a world where I would encounter dog or kid urine for the rest of my days. And frankly between my anxiety and fatigue, I lost my cool more than I care to admit during this time.

By the time my wife returned from her trip, she had to talk me down off the ledge. That’s one of the many things I love about her. When I let worries snowball in my mind, she gently brings me back to reality. When I get consumed with money and stuff, she reminds me that life isn’t about money or stuff.

Jody keeps me pointed towards the things that matter most in my life. My relationship with my kids ranks near the top of that list, and it is for our children that we got this puppy in the first place. My kids absolutely love Chewy, and truth be told, I do too. I have to learn to take the bad with the good and remember that into each life, some pee must fall.

turn off & tune in to your spouse